Thoughts on Frozen

My kids are parked in front of Frozen. Again. To be honest, I love this movie. I cry beginning to end. It taps directly into my deepest hurts as the child of an abusive household. Conceal, don’t feel? That could have been the mantra of my youth. Watching this movie is healing for me. It stirs my emotional trauma in a way I can access. It’s safe to wander my mental jungle while watching a cartoon. When Elsa sings that she doesn’t care what anyone is going to say, I want that for me. That is the line I have been trying to cross for years through writing and therapy. I want to turn my back and slam the door. I want to do that! Disney hit the nail on the head!

But I also hate this movie. It feels disjointed and untrue. I realize it is fiction, but even fiction should have integrity, and that stems from the underlying, universal truths it presents in an understandable, relatable, true way. Prince Hans surprises us all by turning out to be a selfish, murderous jerk who was only faking his attraction to Anna, despite their “mental synchronization” and obvious chemistry. My kids and I were like, “What?!” He seemed so perfect for her. His falseness feels like an afterthought.

As does Elsa’s beautiful, heartbreaking soul-song “Let it Go.” When Elsa runs, I cheer for her to go. Then she starts singing and I wonder what I missed. This movie is smashed full of undeveloped characters with amazing story potential. Perhaps that’s why my eight-year-old can’t follow motives despite the musical score clearly indicating what we should feel.

Let’s look at Kristoff and Sven for a moment. It took me three viewings to understand that Kristoff was supposed to be an orphan at the opening of the movie. Thus his adoption by trolls. But what about the people he was with? Did they not notice him? I guess they kept raising him because he still hauls ice. And speaking of ice, was I the only one who thought he was going to turn out to be the perfect match for Elsa because of their mutual love of all things frozen? His character was set up to fully understand Elsa, to work with her, to lend her some insight into her magic. What’s more, I found him interesting. Compelling even. We never find out, other than ice, what drives him. There was so much promise there. I suppose since it’s Disney, we may see a series of shorts on his life pre-Anna.

I was glad they gave every character a song in this film. I wish they would have given every character character as well. Especially since my kids keep watching it.

archives

I had reason to search for paper. I went looking for clean, lined sheets. In my room, there stands a bookcase filled from the top down with materials related to my life as a writer. The top shelf holds my collection of self-help books, words of wisdom for growing my creative mind and maturing my writerly process. The middle holds the journals I filled with poetry beginning at age six. Then there are foreign language books–German, Arabic and Spanish, because they stimulate my desire to learn more. To continue growing past the point of what one language allows. Those are followed by books on open-hearted parenting, wisdom on how to not shut down. Finally, finally, there is a stack of partially filled notebooks, all spiral-bound. In them are beginnings and middles and endings, and between these handwritten passages are pages where nothing is inked. They are pages where I held my breath, rejected a thought, grew distracted, or found a new direction and turned sharply away.

I tore pages from the between spaces and gave them a new purpose. Currently, they hold the financial story of Goddess and Consort‘s purchases, samples, gifts and sales. I have made my shop’s beginnings and laid the plans for its tomorrows. Now, I am pulled firmly back into yesterdays and the words that came from the life I lived before I embraced the person I am. Another in-between place. Another path to follow, and I am ready for a journey.

birthing

My friend hit the nail on the head when she said sensed birthing in progress. I am being reborn in many areas of life. Following a physical rebirth that I will write more about another time, I had the intense sensation of gaining control. In reality, I have let go of control and begun accepting, and I will write more about that another time as well. This post is happening for a different reason. 

Without further ado, there is a creative birthing happening outside this blog. I’m happy to announce one of my hobbies has grown big enough to fill a market niche. Please check out my etsy shop, Goddess and Consort, to learn more.